citygeisha's Xanga

update

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:40:29 GMT

whoa.. freaking update after a year or so..

if im still getting views means u ppl love me or stalk me..

just going to release some pent up frustration and anger right here right now..

#@%$#%@^$^%$%^ the exams..
stupid system.. stupid marking rubric.. dont know how to farking mark reports.. dats a shit quality good report ok mtf.. have u any idea how many hours i spent writing that mere 1800 essay.. mtf... 9 ok.. dats an hour per 200 words.. shit.. did u know how many references i put into that shit... 13 ok... dats per 130 words.. @!$#@%$$#..

have u any idea how many times i compare/contrast/discuss/evaluate ur damn topic.. #@!$#@%^#^

me fail? in 8 yrs? shit.. dats suicide.. i cud kick u.. don tell me i have awesome content but bad structure.. i can write better den ur 6 generations combined.. if 3 other lecturers could give me 80% u don give me a farkin fail cos u felt like it..

AND failing the whole class instead and giving A to one girl.. U just dug ur own grave dude...
There goes ur evaluation..

mtf..
hope ur _____ falls _____

Dreams to fulfil..

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 15:09:12 GMT

1. Own a mansion on the beach or overlooking the sea and fill it with puppy dogs and candles and flowers..

2. Fill it with classy furniture in creams colours and have fur throw rug in front of the fireplace.

3. Have a nice car :) Convertible would be best..

4. Marry the guy of my dreams and live a life full of love..

5. Have breakfast and tea on the patio or in the garden and use beautiful china :)

Swoon...

irrational..

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 07:04:57 GMT

I will not introduce girls to my guy friends unwillingly. I am NOT a pimp. Deal with it. Get a life. Annoyed much..

Grrr..

Metamorphosis

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 00:41:36 GMT

Metamorphosis is a biological process by which an animal physically develops after birth or hatching, involving a conspicuous and relatively abrupt change in the animal's form or structure through cell growth and differentiation. Some insects, amphibians, mollusks, crustaceans, Cnidarians, echinoderms and tunicates undergo metamorphosis, which is usually (but not always) accompanied by a change of habitat or behavior.

:( Suddenly very emo..

Was contemplating of when I leave to Australia, what is the outcome of who I shall become to be.. I am not sure I would like the changes, studying by day, working by evening and partying by night.

A person like me would not sit still, and most of the time do not have the ability to reject entertainment slapped at my face. Would I become a party animal, wild child or worse a Brat?

Not that I am saying the people there are as such, that would be stereotyping.. I was just thinking, would I go out and party every week til I reach the brink of exhaustion. Dress up fancy day & night just to fit in. Splurge all I own..?

Honestly, I am terrified.. Am I taking the first steps into becoming the person I detest? Would I forget the person I am today, strenghts, weaknesses and all? :(

Guys, please remind me of who I am.. and prevent me from the worst of who I am to become..

Growing up is a distressful metamorphosis..

This is who I am and things i should remember... Skip it if u get bored. Its just a personal reminder for me..

i am rather nerdy, im wild and innocent at the sane time, Shy with the person I like, im sarcastic at times, random, weird, humorous, mischievious, cheeky, unpredictable with the person I love, I laugh with no sound when im high, I cramp when I laugh too much, I cramp when I do not eat my medicine, I love being around people, I love the people I love, I love dancing, I love singing, i love smiling. i love my parents, i love my boyfriend, i am forgetting how to love, i love steamboats, i love syabusyabu, i love the ol gang in dh23, i miss the gang from bdh27, i miss outings in pyramid, nowadays i shop too much, other times i do not shop at all, i own more den 30 dresses, i had 4 boyfriends, i kissed 2 of them, i love curly hair, my bf doesnt let my curl my hair, i love long hair, often i get stupid n cut it short, i love making new friends, i am intimidated by men with intentions, i am outgoing, i love fun but set my own boundaries, i love looking good natural, most of the time, that does not happen, concealer, eyeliner n gloss is my look, i like being smart because i dont fail myself or the world, i hate failing because i failed most of my childhood, i had cancer because i ate too much junk food, i hate doctors and blood bcos i still have nightmares, i forget things when i am stressed, i panic when im stressed, i cant remember roads because they all look the same, i cant remember most of the things unless im reminded by someone, i love my friends because they accept me for who i am, i am totally myself around the gang. I crack lame jokes and laugh at the stupidest things, the best part, they laugh along wid me, or rather at me.. i like making people happy, because i feel it is a daily routine i must complete. when my parents smile, i smile. when my bf scolds me i cry, when he hugs me im content. i havent been hugged by him in exactly 2 months. i 4got how to kiss, i4got the dances i took in highschool, i forgot how to play an qing on the piano, i am noisy, rude at times, i have table manners at times, i can cook 10 dishes more or less, i learnt how to boil porridge because of leilei. i give fever to the ppl who eat my food. i like going to the gym because i feel skinnier compared to the ppl there. i like long hair because im more feminine. if i had a wild companion. i would go bungee jumping, parachuting and gokart racing. if i had money i would buy my parents a mansion and fill it wid doggies. when i have money, i will open a chain of cafes under my name. i am going to print out life size portraits of me and hang them in my walk in closet to remind me of my youth. i would print out wedding photos full sized and hang them around my mansion. i would have a miniature doggy that will roll over n manja me everytime i walk by. leileis dogs are named hero n romeo. hwahwas dogs were born on christmas. dan loves starfishes. i bought her 2 b4. robin smells like tenom coffee bcos i love him. eugene takes care of me like a papa. johnson is my guardian angel with a devil prong.jackjack is my travel kaki.zoe was my best friend and i miss her eventhough i dont admit it. alex is stil my koh eventhough he is a pain in the ass. so many people i know throughout the years. so many walk in n out. i remember the journey, pain n pleasure. i had the best night clubbing in bamboo after many failed attempts. korean dancers are hot. i went to redang in 2005,2007,2008,2009. remember to take diving course next year. DO NOT SHOP TOO MUCH AT AUSSIE. visit ur future inlaws b4 u leave. u need to do medical n visa today. get ur college transcript. arrange ur modelling portfolio n exam transcripts. My goal 5 years ago was to be a pretty, successful OL lady, top of everything. U still have a long way to go to that. do not lose focus. i have a modelling shoot on saturday, stop panicking. be courteous and polite with ppl u meet. stay sweet and kind to ppl u know. do not plot revenge or store hate because it destroys my happiness. do facials at least once a week. call back home often. share more love wid ur parents.

ok.. only i can write a thousand word essay on myself.. im bored.. o yea... overall, im a dumb blonde.. :)

i've been really naughty..

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 22:20:59 GMT

Goodness me, exams are over for 2 weeks and I've been going out like crazy eventhough i'm sick..

I therefore ground myself in an attempt to get better..

This few days been crazy fun, smacking myself for not clubbing more often in this past decade..

After being a good girl for too long, now I know what it feels like to have no boundaries.. Well, sorta..

I promise I'll be good... :)

Dear baby, I've been drinking milk & chocolate with cookies everynight before I go to bed. I promise I wont dance with Koreans and break my stilletos no more..

Heeehehehheheheheeee....

Jasons Farewell..

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 07:26:25 GMT

On Graduation Night, Jason, Teddy, Bear, Joe & I went for some awesome Syabu Buffet.. Yums..

Celebrating our results and also bidding farewell to the tall idiot we love, Jason..

I grew close to Jason after his breakup with *ahem*.. Bonding chat sessions and heart-to-hearts brought out the brothers in us.. Hehehe.. since none of my guy friends treat me as a chick anyway..

Im proud of him, pulling himself up after a bad end and becoming a better person overall.. He has changed so much, from a shy follower to a bombastic, hilarious, sarcastic ass he is.. And that is why we love him..

The next day all of us including Renelle sent him to the airport..

It was a hectic ride as we were late, the gates were closing in half an hour time. The idiot was in another car late bacause he went to play L4D.. So Julian, Renelle and me were panicking as we had his luggage and we took a wrong turning to LCCT.. Which left us like 10 mins to speed back 20+ km totally lost..

Hilarious really..

Speeding in the Tweety Car..

Camwhoring while speeding.. Such a champion, Ju..

Overall, It was a sad goodbye.. The girls cried.. And I thought.."Aw.. Hell.. It's not so sad.." But then as I watched him enter the terminal and I couldnt see him anymore.. I started crying too.. Stupid me.. I really will miss him and our conversations..

We will miss u Jason. Take care of them over there yea? Til we meet again, buddy..

Exam Aftermath Party..

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 07:15:17 GMT

Heys.. Update on my social life now..

After Exams went for party at Barcelona with my BDH27 batch.. It was a fun night of speaker n stage dancing and wild RNB music.. Yummy..

Danced the night away to bottles of Alco & great company..

Didnt take much pics as wasnt in the mood of camwhoring.. I wore my gold Victorian Top and Brown Shorts with my gold pump heels.. Too bad no full body pics.. :(

It was a great night.. I spent the night at LeiLei's.. Shes a great clubbing partner.. Mad as I am and funny too.. Love ya brownie..

I was pretty hammered after 1 bottle as I kept drinking like a fish..

Sobered up at 1? And was pretty bored after that.. hehehe..

Overall.. Great Party Peeps..

Next Round MOS on Thursday..

Bring On Pokerface.. :)

Random Musings & Updates..

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 07:07:03 GMT

Hi people.. I know it has been ages.. Mental block from exams and just plain frustration with the world got me sick of blogging.. Reading other people's blogs about their emo-ness and indirect way of demeaning others reminds me of how beautiful simplicity can be..

Oh well.. Exams are way over.. And I am happy with the results as I overcame the HMCS paper which mentally raped me.. Broke down and cried after the HMCS and thought I would not pull through it..

I guess my practicals covered it up gao gao.. I reached my objective of Highest Mention (VHPC) and Award from Director.. So Im pretty content..

But the wait was gruesome.. Thank god Pei shi, Robin, Val came to support me.. It was pretty nerve wrecking..

Bought them lunch after the Announcement of Results..

Binny N Eggy

My Skinny LeiLei Love..

Faaaaa...Thank guys for supporting me.. I wouldnt have made it without ur love..

I didnt stay long to take pics.. Was kind of bored.. Hehehe.. Anyways.. I would like to thank all my lecturers sincerely.. If was due to ur guidance I could reach for the stars..

Muaks..

Part 2 Coming up..

War is tmr..

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 09:42:48 GMT

16 days of battle..

Armed with my stationery kit and books I march off to war..

Leaving behind all shreds of emotions.. Love, Hate, Anger, Fury, Sadness..

No time for feelings as I strap on my black diamante high heels, slip on my blazer n flatten the edges. I clip on my name tag "CONSTANCE YAP, MANAGEMENT" and smooth each strand on my head onto a tight Victorian Bun..

I draw on my eyeliner and plump up my lips..

Its time to go into the battle zone..

Spawn mode on test papers n equations..

Infinite ammo..

Bring It on...

my love has flown away..

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 17:41:30 GMT

Havent been blogging for centuries..

Did not have the heart or the mood to..

My love left on the 14th of Febuary.. at 7.00 am

Spent the last week with him.. With many meaningful happy and sad memories..

Tried to let him not worry about me.. and for him to go at ease to study over there..

But I couldnt do it.. Broke down several times..

I've cried myself dry ever since you left..

He likes to bully me.. for fun.. cos i laugh like a little girl when he does so..

But I stopped laughing much.. Haven been myself lately..

I miss him.. So much..

It was a beautiful 4 year relationship with ups and downs..

Now it is a 4 month vacation from each other... well physically.. he still loves me.. fuck you..

I cant wait to be reunited with him in May..

I miss you, B...

My smiles are empty without you...